I’m Tired of Being a Loser

The other day I got a message from someone who follows me on Instagram. It was a sad message that said, “I'm sick and tired of being a loser. My whole life I’ve had these big goals and dreams. I’ve had these aspirations to start my own business, have a lot of money, have the nicer things in life, and take care of my parents. I’ve always wanted to get fit and healthy.”

This man went on to explain how he had been watching my videos and had seen me transform my business, my life, my fitness, and my relationships. He was essentially telling me that he was sick and tired of being a loser. He wanted tips and advice.

I Was a Loser Too
I want to tell you right now that I remember when I was a loser. I was losing in every area of my life. I was losing in my health. I was 240 pounds. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. My average night at McDonald’s would consist of a double cheeseburger, two McChickens, and a large fry with all the dipping sauces. I had some relationships, but they were horrible; we were fighting all the time. I was unhappy. I was living at home with my parents. I had all these big goals and dreams, but I just kept losing. I wasn’t going for what I really wanted.

I want to give you a couple words of wisdom based on my experience of how I’ve been able to transform my life. Of course, I still have a long way to go—in a way, I’ll always  have the mindset of having a long way to go. But I’m proud of where I am now.

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You’ve Got to Get Going
This may sound obvious, but the biggest mistake people make is they never get started. They want to lose weight, they want to start a business, and they want to get into a relationship. But they never get started. They let their minds get to them. They analyze all the millions of things they would have to do in order to, for example, start a business.

They start thinking, “How am I going get the money? How am I going to source products? What about the competition? What if I get kicked off of eBay? What if I source a product from China, go to private label it, and then get a trademark violation?” They worry about a million and one different things.

This is how I used to be, and I would never get started. I’d ask myself, “What if I get injured in the gym? What if I can’t eat the foods that my personal trainer wants me to eat and then I end up having a pizza? What if, what if, what if, what if, what if?”

Who Are the People Who Succeed?
The people who are successful aren’t necessarily the smartest. I have so many friends who are millionaires, and a lot of them are 22, 23, 24 years old. They’re not any smarter than I am or you are.

I have friends who are so freaking fit, they are ripped. They are shredded. They don’t do anything special—they really don’t. They’re just very consistent, and they do the things that are necessary. Winners do what is necessary to win, and losers make up excuses—bottom line.

Not too long ago, I ended up having some drinks. I ate pizza and did a bunch of stupid things. When I woke up the next morning, I said to myself, “I don’t feel like going to the gym. I don’t feel like working out.” Then I asked myself two questions. “What would a winner do? What would a loser do?”

And I knew a winner would say, “Know what? Screw all the excuses. Screw feeling bloated. Screw having a hangover. Screw feeling tired. Get in the gym and make it happen. Who cares how you feel?”

Who Are the Losers?
Winners do what is necessary to win, and losers make up excuses.

Losers justify. Losers hang out with other losers and then convince themselves that what they are doing is okay. It’s all right because other people are losing, other people are eating poorly, and other people are lazy instead of working on their business.

That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with the people you want to become. Like Jim Rohn said, you’re the average of the five people you hang out with most. So if you want to be a winner, you’ve got to get around winners. Their characteristics and their traits and their qualities and their habits and their routines are going to rub off onto you.

And the same is true with the people who aren’t necessarily as successful as you want to be. I’m not telling you not to hang out with friends and family because they are not as successful as where you want to be. But just know that who you hang out with is going to rub off on you.

You’re going to start talking like them, walking like them, and acting like them. That’s just how human beings learn and behave. It’s the way it is.

The Steps to Success
So for the person who sent me that message on Instagram and anyone sick and tired of being a loser, the first step is to get 100 percent clear on what you want in your life. You’ve got to figure out what type of relationship you want. What type of body and physique do you want? How much money do you want?

The second step is to ask yourself a serious question. A lot of people have these big goals and they get started. Before you do that, ask yourself this question: Are you willing to pay the price? That’s a rough question right there. Are you willing to pay the price?

What does that mean? If you want to look like that guy or girl in the magazine, do you even have a clue what it takes to have a six pack? Do you even have a clue what it takes  to lose 50 or 60 pounds? Are you willing to pay the price in terms of diet, fitness, health, and lifestyle?

If you’re willing to pay the price and know exactly what you want, then it’s time to moveon  to step three, which is putting together an action plan. Put together a plan of what you’re actually going to have to do. Because at the end of the day, the people who have the money, the body, the fitness, the health, the happiness, the love, and the amazing spiritual life are doing certain things on a regular basis. That’s how they’re getting what they want in life.

Make Sure You’re Doing the Right Things
So you’ve got to be willing to pay the price. You’ve got to be willing to take action. You’ve got to do the right things as well. A lot of people say, “Well, Steve, you know, I’ve got a vision of what I want. I take massive amounts of action. I’m hanging out with positive people, but I’m still not getting what I want.”

The problem is that often people get so excited about getting a six pack or building a business, that they hit the ground running, but they’re doing the wrong things. That’s why you’ve got to be very careful who you listen to and who you learn from.

If you’re looking to get fit and healthy, maybe you’re following some YouTuber who recommends a really unhealthy way of losing weight. Maybe they’re doing things that could cause health issues. Maybe they’re taking potentially harmful supplements.

You might not get to where you want to go because you’re taking bad advice. You might be climbing up the wrong ladder. You might be trying to get to the 50th floor, but there’s a ladder that is leaning up against the house that only goes up three stories. You can do everything right and climb that ladder, but you’re not going to get to the 50th floor because you’re not doing the right things.

Questions to Ask Yourself
So if you’re not getting what you want out of life, ask yourself a couple simple questions. Do you know what you want? That’s important. A lot of people are depressed, but they don’t know why. You’ve got to figure out what you want in life.

Are you willing to pay the price? Are you taking massive amounts of action on a regular basis? Are you getting started? Are you actually doing the things that are going to get you to where you want to go? If you’re taking bad advice or not doing things that other successful people have done in the past, you’re not going to get to where you want to go.

Hold yourself accountable. One thing I have done in the past is had mastermind groups. I’ve had a couple close friends I talk to on a regular basis that keep me accountable. For example, one of them I pay is my personal trainer. My personal trainer keeps me on track with my diet and working out. I’ve got a really good friend who keeps me on trackwith my  business and my finances. We update each other with actions that we are taking in our business and results. And if I start to kind of sway off to the right or the left too much, one of my mastermind buddies will keep me on track.

The Bottom Line of Winners and Losers
At the end of the day, winners win and losers lose. The winners win because they push aside all the BS and do what they’ve got to do to win. The losers—and I used to be one, so I know—just make up excuses, hang out with people who are living below their standards, and make up lies to convince themselves it’s okay that they are not achieving their dreams.

You’ve got to get savage, get hungry, and get accountable.

You’ve got to know what you want out of life, and you’ve got to go for it. Stope BS-ing yourself. Get it done, be a savage, make it happen, and I’m telling you right now you’re going to love your life.

I’m so grateful for the life I’m living right now. I’m so grateful for my health and my fitness and my finances and my lifestyle—and I have so much farther to go. We live in an amazing world. Don’t talk yourself into being a loser.